Therapy That Works...

Why We Love Bloodborne - The Psychology of the Dark Souls Series - By Chris Gearing

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Watch Chris and Dr Sylvia discuss why games like Bloodborne and the Souls series are beneficial to your psychological health! click here.

Why We Love Carly Rae Jepsen's "I Really Like You" - By Chris Gearing

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Chris and Dr. Sylvia discuss the psychology behind why the internet loves Carly Rae's new music video! click here.

Psychological Resilience – The Steps of Self-Reflection - By Chris Gearing

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing discuss the steps of self-reflection and how you can make sure you're on the right track - click here.

Self-reflection is one of the best strategies to overcome adversity.

Here are some self-reflection strategies that highly effective people utilize to make sure they are heading in the right direction.

Slow Down to Go Further

One of the best things you can do is quiet your mind long enough to focus on what is happening without interference from your emotions or distracting thoughts. When you are in the middle of a major life transition or tragic event, slow down and take stock of where you are. Anxiety makes your mind and body speed up, but it also makes you inefficient in dealing with problems. When adversity hits, take more time to remain quiet and calm. Sleep more, eat well, and exercise regularly. Even slow your speech down and measure your words carefully.

Avoid the Isolation Island

Avoid the tendency to isolate yourself and make a point to see your friends and family. A rough patch is only made worse when you go through it alone. Make sure that you only see the positive people in your life since other people’s negative words and moods are harder to shake especially when you are already going through a rough time.

Give Yourself A Break

Every day, set some time aside to devote a certain amount of time to being still—no screens, no texts, no talking. Breathe deeply and focus on your breath for at least ten minutes. Be quiet and let your mind rest so that you can anchor yourself and be effective for the next play. Even a short meditation session allows your mind to reboot and refresh.

Psychological Resilience – The Value of Self-Reflection - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing describe why self-reflection is important to your success - click here.

Many of us think that turning inward is something other people do when they have nothing better to do.

Some of us see it as self-indulgent, ineffective, or even a waste of time. However effective self-reflection can be an incredibly valuable first step if you are going through a rough patch. You can’t plan your next move if you don’t understand how you got to where you are today.

To strategically move forward, you must first catalogue the events that brought you to your current adversity, and the decisions you’ve made so far.

Once you have organized the events in your mind, you’ll find that there is less anxiety associated with the event. There is now a clear narrative where there was once disorganized pain. You’ll feel safer and calmer because you will have anchored yourself in the here and now, and you will fully understand that the traumatic events are in the past. You are safe.

Psychological Resilience - Moving Past Adversity Effectively - By Chris Gearing

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing discuss how you can move past adversity effectively by using psychological resilience skills - click here.

Inevitably we all encounter disappointments, tragedies, and setbacks in our professional and personal lives. Jobs are lost, beloved parents die, we lose touch with close friends, and dreams for how we wanted out lives to turn out vanish.

However, research has shown that how you handle adversity in your life will actually determine where your life will go next.

Remember that it is not the adversity itself that determines what happens next. It is your reaction to the adversity and how you think about it that ultimately determines where you end up.

If you spiral into negativity, your bad mood will sabotage your ability to effectively solve the problem. You’ll become stuck in the “what if’s” and the agony of the situation. You’ll lose sight of how you can turn this adversity into something beneficial. The situation that seems so awful, so devastating right now can be the catalyst for making you stronger and more effective in the future.

True wisdom is usually hard won, and our challenges in life can be the very events that take us to the next level. Hopefully, after overcoming a setback you will truly value your resilience since you’ve learned that what is happening today is temporary and will not determine tomorrow unless you let it. The rest of your life can and will be determined by the resolve you demonstrate in the moment and your ability to triumph over setbacks.

Moving past adversity requires a particular set of thinking skills that, if used consistently, can take your life to the next level.

This series of presentations will give you some important tips and strategies for how to move past adversity effectively and overcome obstacles in your path.

Ordinary Moments – Increasing Your Emotional Intelligence - By Chris Gearing

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing describe how you can increase your emotional intelligence by paying attention to ordinary moments - click here.

One of the best parts of cherishing your ordinary moments is that doing so can increase your ability to be there for those you love. Being emotionally present for others can have a profound impact on them and your relationship with them. Here are a few ways that appreciating everyday experiences can benefit your relationships:

Not Too Seriously

Your friends and family will love your ability to laugh in the moment and to not take yourself or your situation so seriously. Your example can be a powerful one, and you can show others that there is always hope and joy in any situation.

Truly Listening

We listen and understand with our hearts, not with our critical minds. To truly empathize with another requires that you turn your problem solving brain off for a little while. Your loved ones will cherish your perceptive understanding and true empathy during their struggles. A truly great friend is there when everyone else leaves. Your kindness and loyalty will inevitably be returned when you encounter your own disappointments and struggles in life.

A Safe Space

Your ability to remain non-judgmental and unconditional in your focus and understanding is perhaps the greatest gift you can give others. When you are sincerely present in the moment, you are creating a truly safe space where they can share their thoughts and feelings.

Ordinary Moments - How To use Ordinary Moments For Success - By Chris Gearing

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing discuss how you can use ordinary moments to make yourself happier and more successful - click here.

Appreciating ordinary moments can help you in all areas of life. In addition to expanding your personal well-being, keeping your mind clear and focused can also give you a decisive edge in your career. Here’s how can you savor your ordinary moments and learn to emotionally sustain yourself to work more effectively:

Slow Down to Go Further

Most of us misunderstand the relationship between speed and accomplishment. We think that if we go faster and push harder, we will go further in the end. Nothing could be further from the truth. People who are truly gifted and accomplished give themselves time to rest and recover. Although it seems counter intuitive, slowing down allows your mind to fully recover and can make the critical difference when you need it most. A well-rested mind sees the opportunity in the moment because it is clear and uncluttered.

Taking A Time Out

Everyday we encounter problems that distract us and interfere with our ability to feel calm and happy. Many of us think that if we keep worrying about a problem, we’ll figure out the perfect solution. However, an anxious and exhausted mind has very little chance of creating an effective strategy. Quiet time is indispensible for an effective and happy life. There is no substitute for the meditative moments when we let everything go for a little while. No screens, no conversations, no planning “what I have to do next.” Just letting this one moment fill your mind completely, slowly breathing, and being very still are all incredibly powerful ways to build a sense of well being and prepare yourself for the next play.

Silence Is Golden

Most epiphanies are born in silence. A well-rested mind is a solid foundation for your mind to create and assemble epic answers. Your mind cannot work on important questions when it is constantly busy creating your next grocery list or second-guessing your comments at today’s meeting. Since modern technology is so intent on inundating your mind with noise and distractions, try turning everything off. Taking a small portion of every day and being silent is a great way to notice the ordinary beauty around you and answer the big questions.

Ordinary Moments-How Ordinary Moments Keep Us Strong - By Chris Gearing

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing introduce her new series - "Ordinary Moments." Click here.

Many of us spend more energy every single day trying to outrun our troubles instead of taking the time to enjoy the small moments of joy in our ordinary days. We miss the adorable chatter of our children or the happy tail wag of our dog hoping to be taken for a walk. Wondrous moments escape us as we drone through a life of tightly scheduled appointments, high expectations, and professional obligations. We neglect the everyday treasures of life, and we wonder why we aren’t happier.

Part of a happier life is using these ordinary moments filled with delight and beauty and humor to bolster you against the slings and arrows of life’s inevitable downturns. Taking the moment to share a chuckle, sing a song, or remember a treasured friend are all deposits into an emotional savings account. These memories are psychological sustenance you can draw on during your rainy days. You can find joy in your emotional life by accumulating them, and you can sustain yourself during the hard times by having a steady diet of joy, wellbeing, and gratitude.

My new blog series to kick off 2014 focuses on how to use these ordinary moments to build a life full of personal joy, professional success, and true well-being. Make sure to check back for new tips to make this year one of your best.

Resilience - The Three C's of Psychological Resilience - By Chris Gearing

Friday, June 28, 2013

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing describe the three C's of psychological resilience - click here.

Why do some people sail through adversity while other people fall apart at the drop of a hat?

Why do some of us remain happy despite repeated setbacks and losses? Several decades ago, psychologists began to research these questions hoping to not only define the personality characteristics behind psychological resilience but to teach others how to easily weather the ups and downs of life.

Their research concluded that psychological resilience could be summarized in three central attitudes, or “the three C’s”:

Commitment:

We establish our belief in ourselves and in our purpose by remaining steadfastly committed to a cause, to a philosophy, or to a larger identity. Working for a greater purpose in our lives, whether it’s rocking your baby to sleep or working on the cure for cancer, can create a sense of stability and purpose that helps in healing anxiety.

Control:

Anxious people try to control everything and everyone in their lives. If they cannot control you, they may try to dump you instead. Resilient people are assertive but leave room for you to be your own person. They focus on what they can control and disregard what they cannot change. They don’t sweat the small stuff, and they stay anchored in the moment and less reactive to life’s frustrations.

Challenge:

Resilient people view change as an opportunity instead of a burden. While change can leave a lot of uncertainty and room for anxiety, they look for ways to turn it to their advantage. They choose to engage life with joy and creativity. In the end, this belief system fortifies their hope and optimism that the best is yet to come.

Sources:

"Resilience at Work: How to Succeed No Matter What Life Throws at You" by Salvatore Maddi, Ph.D.

"The Hardy Executive: Health Under Stress" by Salvatore Maddi, Ph.D. and Suzanne Kobasa, Ph.D.

Growing Kids Strong - Introducing Self-Efficacy - By Chris Gearing

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Watch Dr. Sylvia Gearing describe the concept of Self-Efficacy and why it's important for your child's future success - click here.

We all hope that our children will have a safe and happy childhood.

As parents, many of us spend much our lives and most of our resources trying to make sure our children’s lives are as easy as possible. We want them to have the advantages in life that may have eluded us. However, we know that our children will inevitably encounter adversities in life. It’s important to find those key skills that will equip your child to handle anything they encounter. You want your child to view challenges as surmountable and survivable rather than as a defining negative event.

One of those key skills is a concept called self-efficacy, a term created in the 1970’s by Albert Bandura.

Self-efficacy describes your child’s ability to see themselves as capable of organizing, planning, and executing the necessary steps to succeed in any situation. They will feel empowered and confident in their ability to creatively solve problems. They don’t need any external help – they have the internal resources to generate solutions. When children look to external factors either for help or to blame for their helplessness, they can fall into scattered thinking and indecisiveness. This kind of thinking can knock even the most promising life off track. The best part of self-efficacy is that all of the courage, self-reliance, stamina, self-assuredness, and tenacity will continue to flow from their basic belief in their own self-efficacy.

As a result, unpredictable situations will not frighten your child and new environmental challenges no longer cause anxiety. Instead, novelty is often greeted with enthusiasm and new, unknown opportunities are met with resolve and singular focus. They stand tall since they are convinced that they have the resources to handle any challenge.

Sources:

Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191-215.

"The Optimistic Child" by Martin Seligman, Ph.D.


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